Finding Sanctuary in Marina CA

THE SPOT:
Last weekend a friend and I took a mini vacation to Sanctuary Beach Resort, a secluded beachfront hotel near Monterey, CA. As its name implied, the resort was a delightfully peaceful and luxurious place to relax and get away. When we arrived, the friendly girl at the front desk checked us in (even though we were an hour early) and showed us on a map where our room would be. “A porter will meet you in the parking lot to take you to your room and give you the keys to your golf cart.” The front desk girl explained.
“We get a golf cart?!” My friend and I both echoed back in delighted amazement.
“That’s right” The girl confirmed. I’d had no idea when I’d booked our trip that we would be provided with our own personal motor-cart to transport us from our beach view room to the pool, spa or restaurant in style. SCORE!

As soon as we parked my car and began to unload our luggage, a gorgeous young man (who looked like he couldn’t have been more than 22) with impeccably clear olive skin and warm brown eyes pulled up next to us in a pristine white golf cart. “Are you… Jillian?” he asked, reading my name off of a card as he got out of his cart. “I sure am!” I said. He introduced himself and started loading our luggage onto the back of his cart and then we zipped up a hill to our room.

The porter unlocked the door and ushered us into our little slice of paradise for the night. “You can help yourselves to that complimentary bottle of wine if you like” he said gesturing to a small bottle sitting enticingly on a table betwixt two glasses that glimmered in the sunshine streaming through our ocean view window. “Wow, you really know how to impress a lady.” I said to the porter as I took in the scene.  He lingered awkwardly for a moment before my friend took our room key from him with one hand and slyly slipped him a five with the other. “Super classy execution on the tip hand off!” I commended her after the porter had backed out of the room.

As soon as he left, my friend and I adorned ourselves in the bathrobes that had been hanging in our closet, curled up on the plush easy chairs that sat in front of our ocean view window and sunbathed like cats while we sipped the deliciously smooth cabernet sauvignon that had been bequeathed to us by the hotel. The girl at the check in desk had mentioned that they put on a nightly  bonfire down at the beach at 5:00, but that conflicted with the happy hour in the hotel’s restaurant, which was from 3:30 – 6:30, so as we (mostly I) finished our bottle of wine, we decided we’d rather have s’more to drink at the restaurant than chocolaty s’mores by the beach, so we hopped in our golf cart and zoomed over to the resort’s restaurant and bar where we each enjoyed a $4.00 cocktail and $2.00 appetizer before dinner.

The restaurant had the usual steak house options and some sushi as well, but seemed a bit pricey for what it was… even the climax of our dining experience, the chocolate eruption cake, was not all that mind blowing. 

All in all, Sanctuary Beach Resort in Marina, CA was a delightful place to spend the weekend and I definitely wouldn’t mind returning at some point, but it’s a bit pricey and it’s on the coast near Monterey, so it’s the kind of place you go with someone – not to meet someone. Singles just don’t usually drop a couple of Benjamin’s to go on the prowl.


THE LINE:
I would like to tell you that while I was at this sandy vacation resort, Pick-up lines rolled off my tongue like waves onto the beach… and it was high tide all weekend long! I would like to tell you that, but the reality is, though there was a vast ocean of material at my disposal at this coastal sanctuary, there were really no fish in the sea. I honestly wasn’t too bothered by it though. My friend and I had come to relax and catch up since it’d been ages since we’d seen each other, so man hunting was not high on my agenda last weekend. That being said, the pick up line generating machine that is my brain was still in action so, if you happen to find yourself at a luxy beach resort here are some lines I didn’t get a chance to cast out:

Next time you’re cruising around your resort in a pimpin’ golf cart and you happen upon some young sex panther of a man who’s walking down the road, why not pull up alongside him and casually call to him: “Hey there. Can I pick you up? ‘cause If you come with me, it would be an enjoyable ride for both of us.” I can’t see any way that would fail. Especially if it was cold out or there was a hill. Any dude would be jumping in your cart like a flea on a dog.

A line I’d considered using if there had been any enticing prospects down by the bonfire was:
“Wow, these s’mores are good. But chocolate and marshmallows aren’t what I really want s’more of in my mouth… I bet you can guess what I’m really after!” and then when they get all awkward and blush or whatever, be like “Graham crackers!” Boys like to be teased like that. It makes them think you’re just kind of easy at first but then they’re like: “oh you’re easy, but you’re also kinda funny!” and then they know they’ve hit the jack pot.

Or if a sexy AAA guy shows up to jump your car after you’ve accidentally left the lights on all day long ‘cause you drove in on a road that instructed you to turn your headlights on even during the day, it’s the perfect opportunity to pull out the dialogue that you’ve been keeping in your back pocket for just such an occasion: when a sexy mechanic shows up to service your vehicle. Mine goes a little something like this:
“Oh my! You’re just who I was hoping would show up to give me a jump tonight. I can’t wait for you to get out your equipment and start revving your engine, ‘cause I know it’s going to really get me going!”
and no. I did not steal any of that from a bad porno… but I definitely think I could qualify for an award at the adult entertainment Oscars if I ever decided to knuckle down and put out a full script. I have no immediate plans to do so though.

And if you are ever in a restaurant with a cute waiter and they offer chocolate eruption cake on their menu… just order that… he’ll know what you’re after.